Bye Bye Bye Bye My Baby (FAT) Bye Bye

I’m not a country girl. And I’m really not a country music girl. I much prefer urban gospel as my style of music to jam to. But the other day when I weighed myself, I remembered a song from way way waaaay back in my B.C. years. That’s Before Christ for those of you who aren’t well versed in “christianese lingo”. I’ve lost 19 lbs. That puts me at the exact weight that I was before I became pregnant with Ezra almost 3 ½ years ago and then with Hezekiah almost immediately after. Now, I certainly was overweight before becoming pregnant, but those two pregnancies took their toll on my body. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t shed those extra pounds that I put on. The “baby fat’. Until now. And this brings me to the song I was talking about. This being the last day of 2009, I’m finding myself getting all nostalgic and if I could think of an anthem to end my year with, it would be this…..Bye Bye Bye Bye My Baby (Fat) Bye Bye! The song is by Jo Dee Messina and I looked it up on Youtube and found the lyrics. While she was referring to a lover in this song, it spoke to me in reference to the weight I’m leaving behind this year and hopefully so much more in 2010. So, here are some of the words to the song. I’m changing some of them to fit my current situation……

…Well it's been long enough
Time is up…

Bye bye FAT, I'll catch you later
Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rear view mirror torn off
I ain't never lookin' back. And that's a fact.
I've tried all I can imagine ....
Bye bye, bye bye my baby FAT, bye bye

Don't think all those tears are gonna hold me here like they've done before
You'll find what's left of us in a cloud of dust on highway 4

I've seen the light...

Bye bye FAT, I'll catch you later
Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rear view mirror torn off
'Cause I ain't never lookin' back, and that's a fact.
I've tried all I can imagine ....
Bye bye, bye bye my baby FAT, bye bye


Bye bye, I'll catch you later
Got a lead foot down on my accelerator and the rear view mirror torn off
'Cause I ain't never lookin' back.
You can count on that.
Bye bye, bye bye my baby FAT, bye bye


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

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You Talkin To Me?

I know I’m not the only one that this has ever happened to, but has anyone ever been in church and you felt like there was no one else there but you and the Pastor? Like he was talking just to you? I ‘ve had these experiences before and this past Sunday, Dec 27,2009 was one of them. I think I’ll never forget it. My pastor, Pastor Greijack was talking about the Christmas story, but in a way I’ve never thought about it before. He talked about Mary. About the circumstances in which Jesus Christ, our savior came to this earth. He was born in a stable! There were no doctors or midwives, no epidurals, no medical equipment to monitor contractions. Just Joseph and Mary on a dirty stable floor and the moonlight shining through the walls. It was a labor of love. Can you imagine the pain and panic that swept over them? Can you wrap your mind around it? Can you imagine if that was the circumstances in which you had to give birth? I cannot fathom it. But Mary knew something. And so did Joseph. They had a promise. They had a dream! And so they had great courage and faith in their Heavenly Father! Have you ever been given a promise from God? Have you ever had a dream that you know was placed inside of you by Him? And have you ever had the circumstances around you work against that promise and that dream? I have. I am experiencing it now. I’ve only spoken this dream out loud to just a small handful of people closest to me, but I figure I’ve already made myself pretty vulnerable already so I might as well go all the way. It has been my desire since I was in 6th grade to be a published author. My passion is writing. If I was smart, I would have pursued this desire after high school, but I had other things in mind at the time. So now here I am, 31 years old with no training in this area. I know it takes more than training, it takes talent. And I believe I have that, but the fear of my lack of training and education has held me back. There’s that dirty four letter word again…FEAR. But this past Sunday, I felt hope rising. Courage taking root. At the end of the message, our pastor said something that struck a nerve deep within me. What I have inside of me, this desire, is from my Daddy. He started it and birthed it and He will finish it! HE’S my baby’s daddy! Right before the birth of something extraordinary is usually the greatest obstacle that you will face. But just like Mary, even though the circumstances didn’t seem right for her to birth this miracle that was placed inside of her, the circumstances around me don’t seem right for my dream to come true. But she kept walking. Her and Joseph, hand in hand until they found the stable. And this is what my pastor said that struck a nerve within me. I’m just supposed to keep walking. And while I’m walking, God is working! Keep walking. Keep writing. He’s working! I’m about to give birth to the greatest miracle of my life so far. And I’ve had some pretty incredible miracles in my life. But nothing is impossible for God! I want you to be encouraged too. What’s your dream? What do you feel God has placed inside of you? It’s not impossible for Him to fulfill it! I’ve listened to this message from Sunday 5 times today and each time, I feel my faith rising. I say YES LORD to your will for my life. Whatever it is in this area, let it be done!

Listen to the message for yourself. It's titled Pain and Panic

http://http://www.freshfiremedia.mypodcast.com/

I've Got A Case Of P.M.S

I'll just say up front that the chaos of this blog post is indicative of the mood I'm in. I can't quite get these pictures where I want them, so I'm just leaving them where they are. Hope they make you laugh anyway!

I've had a bad day and I've got a case of P.M.S. You know, "Poor Me Syndrome"

I haven't been able to clean in awhile and I cleaned all day today. I mean ALL DAY! I started at 9:00 this morning, worked all the way through lunch and naptime, stopped at 6:00 to sit down for a few minutes, then went to the grocery store and now at 10:00 tonight, I'm still not finished.

I'll just be honest. I feel like crap. Is an Elder's wife allowed to say that word? Well I just did! I've been a grouch all day and I've taken it out on my whole family. I don't think they even want to be around me right now.

Anyone else ever had a day like this? A day when you can't stand even to be around yourself? That's how I feel. I just want to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and forget this day ever happened.

And I want some comfort food! Cheese curls, chocolate, potato chips, Krumpes donuts, a Big Mac and some fries, a pepsi, some spaghetti.......Anything! But noooooo, I'll have to settle for my little 1/2 cup of applesauce!

I told you in the beginning that I was going to share my good days and bad, so I'm sharing a bad one with you today. How about lets toast to a better day tomorrow, huh? Cheers!

S.W.E.A.T

I have this thing about sweat. I hate it. It’s gross. I hate how I feel when I sweat. But tonight it felt so good! I was able to exercise for the first time since my surgery. I wanted so bad to get on the elliptical and see if I could just jump right back in where I left off 3 weeks ago, but I’m still on restricted activity, so I walked on the treadmill instead. I walked for 30 minutes at 3.0 miles per hour for a total of 1.5 miles. And the sweat felt good. While I was walking, I couldn’t help but look around the room and see all the different people there. There was quite a mix of people all at varying degrees of fitness and health. There were, of course, the macho jocks trying to impress whoever would notice them, middle aged men and women just trying to shed some of the excess holiday weight, thirty somethings, young teenagers and of course, the thorns in my side since I started exercising 2 years ago…..the skinny girls. You know, if I’m going to be really honest, I don’t like them. They make me feel intimidated, inferior. But then I got to thinking, I don’t know what price they have paid to get to where they are. And their journey is not my journey. So, as hard as it was to do, I just started focusing on myself and how far I’ve come already. As I looked down at my feet, the realization came to me that each stride I was taking was bringing me one step closer to where I want to be. And that made me feel proud. Maybe one day I’ll be a skinny girl too and maybe I won’t. And you know, I’m ok with that. But one thing I will be is healthier than I was before. But I don't think I'll ever get used to this sweating thing!

Confessions of a Chocoholic

I’m coming out of the closet today. Yes, it’s true… I’m Andrea McCall and I’m a chocoholic. Now my secret is out. I love chocolate. All humans need air to breathe, water to survive and food for nourishment. I need chocolate to stay sane. Some medicate themselves with Prozac, some take Paxil, and some even use Zoloft, but I eat chocolate. Milk chocolate is my favorite, but in a pinch, I’ll eat any kind. And I’m not a chocolate snob either. It doesn’t have to be Ghiradelli, Hershey, or Nestle. Generic brands will do just fine. And when mixed with peanut butter, it’s divine! This being said, eating chocolate became off limits for the time being after surgery. I’ve done fine until now. I think it’s because of all the cookies, pies and cakes I’m being surrounded by during the holidays, but I’m having some serious withdrawal symptoms. So, I got creative without cheating. I am allowed to have sugar free, low calorie hot chocolate. I checked. It’s on my list of foods/drinks I can have. This morning I got my ingredients together to mix up my trusty protein shake and I had an idea. I grabbed a packet of my Swiss Miss Sensible Sweets Diet hot chocolate with added Calcium and Vitamin D (with only 25 calories per serving) and added it to ½ cup of fat free milk, 6 oz of artificially sweetened vanilla yogurt, 1 ½ scoops of protein and 4 ice cubes and got to mixin! The anticipation was killing me! Would it work? Would it satisfy my craving? I always like to put my shakes in the freezer for a few minutes after I mix them to thicken them up just a bit, so I did that and stood impatiently, looking at the clock for that 5 minutes to end. When it was time, I pulled it out, stirred it up and took a gulp………Ahhhhhhhhhh……I was in heaven! The most delicious thing I have tasted in weeks! It was so good. It tasted just like a triple thick chocolate milkshake from McDonalds. Pure genius! All is well in my world again!

Bittersweet

On Christmas Eve, I had my first taste of "real" food in 15 days and I have to tell you, it was bittersweet. I know I'm crazy, right? The full liquid diet that I was on was horrible and I was so glad to be over with it. I couldn't wait for this day to arrive. But now that it's here, I'm kind of scared. It was easier for me to stay motivated with the liquids because of the weight coming off. But now that I've started on the "soft food" stage for the next 14 days, the Dr. said this is when the weight loss can slow down. And then when I begin eating regular foods on Jan 7, it could be as little as 1-2 pounds per week. I know that's a healthy weight loss schedule, but I'm afraid that I won't stay motivated with it. I've got a lot of people on my side and so many friends and family pulling for me, which feels like a blessing and a curse at the same time. A blessing for obvious reasons, but a curse because of my fear of failure that I mentioned in the very beginning of this blog. I was so excited to have my scrambled egg with cheese for breakfast and 1/2 cup of turkey salad for lunch, but now when dinner drew near, I wanted to go back to liquids so...I dunno....so I wouldn't feel like I was "cheating." Does that sound strange? Maybe it's just me, or maybe you just have to be in my shoes to fully understand. I'm not sure what I'll do. I think I just need some chocolate to help me think straight! KIDDING!!!! I'm so afraid I'll overdo it. When I had that first taste of real food, I could feel myself wanting to lose control. I wanted to eat and eat and eat! I didn't want to stop after that 1/2 cup was gone. I could feel that I was full. I've learned what that feels like in the last 2 weeks, but still I wanted to eat. Before the surgery, I don't think I really ever ate because I was hungry, or stopped when I was full. I ate just to eat. I ate because it was "time to eat" at meal times, or when I was lonely at night when Tom was at work and the boys were in bed. I ate because I was emotional. I ate because I love food! Oh, Lord I need you more now than ever before. The temptation is so great and my resistance is failing. I feel like an addict craving just one more hit. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know we all struggle with things, but why did this have to be my lot in life? Why did this stupid food addiction have to be my area of weakness? And why can't I stop thinking about food? If your reading this, it means your interested in what I'm going through and your probably pulling for me to succeed, so would you please just breathe a quick prayer to heaven for help and strength to come to me? Thank you!

Sweet 16!

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my 16th birthday and not even the rain (my birthday is in April so it ALWAYS rains on my birthday) could dampen my spirits. I was young, carefree and I thought I was in love! My boyfriend who was 3 years older than me brought me roses









and surprised me with matching Baltimore Orioles t shirts and a home game at Camden Yards. We had a great time blowing money on hot dogs, sodas and peanuts. I was a good christian girl and he was a good christian boy so at the end of the night, we exchanged a quick kiss and said goodnight.............


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October 16, 2004. The first time I heard her voice. Carmen, Judah's birth mother sounded so nervous and unsure of herself. But she was firm in her decision to give her unborn baby a better life. We thank God every day for the difficult decision she made...............









It was payday and only by a miracle from God, we were able to pay the entire mountain of bills we had accumulated. Every last one of them...paid in full! We had $16 left in our checking account, but we were rich as far as we were concerned...............










Ahhhhh, There's nothing like it in the world! It's something I treat myself to occasionally when I've had a bad day or just feel like a little pick me up.
A 16 oz. fountain drink all to myself! Mmmm mmmm good...........









16 years, 16 days, $16, 16 oz. None of these "16's" are the 16 I'm most happiest about in my life at this moment. It's the 16 lbs. that I've just shed that makes me want to shout from the mountain top! I did it! I really did it! I made it past that 15 lb. marker that I could never make it past when I've tried all those countless diets in the past. What a sense of accomplishment I'm feeling today! It kind of makes all those tears I've cried all worth it! I made it! 16 sweet sweet pounds!!!!!