Sweet 16!

I remember it like it was yesterday. It was my 16th birthday and not even the rain (my birthday is in April so it ALWAYS rains on my birthday) could dampen my spirits. I was young, carefree and I thought I was in love! My boyfriend who was 3 years older than me brought me roses









and surprised me with matching Baltimore Orioles t shirts and a home game at Camden Yards. We had a great time blowing money on hot dogs, sodas and peanuts. I was a good christian girl and he was a good christian boy so at the end of the night, we exchanged a quick kiss and said goodnight.............


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October 16, 2004. The first time I heard her voice. Carmen, Judah's birth mother sounded so nervous and unsure of herself. But she was firm in her decision to give her unborn baby a better life. We thank God every day for the difficult decision she made...............









It was payday and only by a miracle from God, we were able to pay the entire mountain of bills we had accumulated. Every last one of them...paid in full! We had $16 left in our checking account, but we were rich as far as we were concerned...............










Ahhhhh, There's nothing like it in the world! It's something I treat myself to occasionally when I've had a bad day or just feel like a little pick me up.
A 16 oz. fountain drink all to myself! Mmmm mmmm good...........









16 years, 16 days, $16, 16 oz. None of these "16's" are the 16 I'm most happiest about in my life at this moment. It's the 16 lbs. that I've just shed that makes me want to shout from the mountain top! I did it! I really did it! I made it past that 15 lb. marker that I could never make it past when I've tried all those countless diets in the past. What a sense of accomplishment I'm feeling today! It kind of makes all those tears I've cried all worth it! I made it! 16 sweet sweet pounds!!!!!

I Want A Cookie!

My neighbor from across the street who has Master, the dog whom my boys love brought over a huge and I mean H.U.G.E. platter of cookies this evening. We were all upstairs in the boys room watching a movie when we heard the knock on the door. I was already in my pajamas for the night, so Tom went to answer it. After I heard it close, I curiously made my way down the stairs to see who it was. And then I saw it. I promptly turned myself right back around, walked back up the stairs to my bedroom, shut the door (I didn’t slam it this time!), flung myself on my bed, buried my head in my pillow and began sobbing! “Why, oh why did I choose to have this surgery?” “And why did I choose to have it NOW during the most difficult time of year to eat healthy?” Of course I already knew the answers to these questions, but in that moment, all logic went out the window. I chose to have this surgery because I’ve tried everything else with no results, mostly because of my own lack of self control, and I chose to have it now because of insurance. We’ve already met our deductible for the year and if I waited until the beginning of the year, we would have to pay significantly more than we did by having it now. But like I said, all logic was lost. I’ve done so good. But today was hard. Not just after the cookies, but earlier. I think it was because I was feeling somewhat stressed, but I really, really, really wanted something sweet to eat today. I was having a hard time concentrating on anything else except for my craving for something sweet. Then I visited my mother in law, who on my way out the door, went to her freezer and pulled out a coconut cream cake to give to my husband. It’s one of his favorites. I don’t even like coconut but hey, it was something sweet and that’s what I wanted. I made it through watching my family chow down on that cake after dinner. I made it through the rest of the evening. And then the cookies. I wanted to explode! I even said to my husband, “Do you think I could blend one of those up in my protein shake?” He was unenthusiastic about that idea. Now, as I’m sitting here typing this with tears streaming down my cheeks, the cookies are mysteriously absent. They are nowhere to be found. I looked for them when I came back downstairs after putting the boys to bed, but I couldn’t find them. I think Tom took pity on me and did something with them. He’s doing everything he knows to do to help me and I appreciate that more than words could say. But oh how I really want a cookie right now!

Dirty Dishwater

While I am recovering very nicely and I am no longer experiencing pain or discomfort and my incisions are healing very well, I still have some restrictions from my doctor. This being said, my husband is still doing most of the household chores like vacuuming, laundry, bathing the boys and putting them to bed, and of course, dishes. It’s not that doing dishes is strenuous and I certainly am allowed to do them at least, but the problem is that we don’t have a dishwasher and my largest scar is precisely at the place where the kitchen counter meets my waist. So, it is uncomfortable to say the least. And because my wonderful husband cares so much about my comfort, he continues to do them. Isn’t he sweet? I really have nothing to complain about, except that I have this pet peeve. When the dishes are done, I always immediately let the dish water out, rinse the suds down the drain and wipe the sink. My husband does not share this pet peeve with me. And it annoys me, irritates me, plucks my nerves, rubs me the wrong way…you get the idea. The dishwater could sit all day long for all he cares, he’s a man and I’m pretty sure that most men don’t care about things like that. Like I said, I’m not complaining. I have several friends who would absolutely fall over in amazement if their husband did half the things mine does around the house. Trust me, I know how blessed I am. But I’m just making an observation. On one particular evening, I came downstairs around 10:00 to get a sip of water and I was greeted with this sight! I was disgusted! Dinner and dishes were over hours ago and the water still remained in the sink. Spaghetti is what they had for dinner. I think that my pet peeve came from an incident that happened to one of my sisters, Marie. She left dishwater in her sink all night long and in the morning when she reached down to let the water out, she felt something squishy. When she pulled it out, it was a mouse that had drowned overnight in the water! Can you believe it? She never did that again! And if I was a betting woman, I’d bet that after reading this, you won’t either! Hey, maybe I need to remind my husband of this story one more time!

The Pants

I have this pair of pants. They are my most favorite pair of pants that I own. There’s just one thing…I’ve only worn them twice. I got them on sale at Old Navy right before I found out that I was pregnant with our second son, Ezra over 3 years ago and I’ve never been able to fit back into them since. Until today. I was standing in front of my closet, trying to find something to wear to a Christmas party tonight when I saw them hanging there. For a split second the thought crossed my mind to try them on. Then I thought “Nah, it’s too soon. I can’t wear them yet." Then I got curious. I wondered how much longer it would be until I could wear them again, so I thought I’d just try them on and see. Can you imagine the exhilaration when they not only slid easily over my thighs, hips and belly, but then I zipped them up with no trouble at all! If I could have, I would have done a cartwheel at that moment. I nearly squealed in delight! As a matter of fact, I think I did. I called for my husband to come see, but he was changing a dirty diaper downstairs. I got too impatient for him to finish, so I nearly floated down the stairs to show him! My son, Judah said… "Oooh Mommy, I like those pants! Do girls wear pants like that too?" I laughed. They’re camouflage. He’s never seen me in them. All of the boys have a pair, but they’ve never seen mommy wear them before. I hugged him and said, “Yes baby, girls can wear these pants too! “ I sauntered back upstairs to take them off to get a shower and then I remembered something. I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for this party all week long. It’s an annual family/friends party that I look forward to each year. Except this year is very different. I’m still on an all liquid diet, so I couldn't eat any of the food that was served. I even made a pasta salad and brownies to bring, but I couldn't eat that either. I spoke with a friend this week who had gastric bypass surgery several years ago right before Christmas just like I did and she was telling me about the emotions that I might go through during this time, especially if I have parties to go to where there will be food. I prepared myself for maybe having to take a timeout in the bathroom to shed a few tears and maybe even cry on the way home. My plan was to make a point to talk to every single person in attendance at this party. I wanted to work my way around to everyone so I wouldn’t be focused so much on the food. But I had something to keep me smiling. Each time I was tempted to have a moment of regret for having the surgery at this particular time and each time I had just a twinge of sadness over not being able to eat, I looked down at my pants and smiled! Thank you Jesus for giving me something to smile about today!

Bottoms Up!

In order to meet my new requirement of 50-60 grams of protein per day, protein shakes are and forever will be a part of my daily routine. I'm still not quite sure how I feel about that. I mean there are some really good protein powders and drinks available on the market now and it isn't hard to find them at a reasonable price either, but I've always been the kinda girl who liked to eat my meals, not drink them. But I knew this when I made the decision to have the surgery, so I'm living with the consequences now. The boys are even getting the hang of mommy drinking her protein shakes now. Their used to daddy drinking them, but now I am too! So far I've purchased a vanilla flavor and a natural flavored one that is supposed to not have any taste so you can add it to things like soup and not have the sweet taste, but that's not the case. It's yucky! Blech! I like the vanilla flavor because you can add so much to it. Today I added sugar free Boston creme pie flavored

yogurt to the protein powder along with milk and a few ice cubes and yesterday I added sugar free orange cremesicle flavored yogurt. So, I'm getting the hang of it. But like I said, I'd much rather eat my meal than drink it. Nonetheless, every morning I faithfully make my shake and say these words....Bottoms Up!

How Often Do You Do IT?

I never realized how much I did IT until these last 2 weeks when I couldn’t do IT anymore. Oh how I’ve missed doing IT and oh the pleasure IT brought me! Will I ever be able to do IT again? Come on, you know you do IT too. If you’re a mom, you have to do IT. It’s a rite of passage. You know what I’m talking about….finishing the food left on your child’s plate when their done eating!!! What did you think I was talking about? You know they never eat it all, and sometimes you just can’t stand to throw that food away. After all, you know how hard you had to work to earn the money to buy that food, right? But have you ever stopped to think how many extra calories your adding to your daily intake when you do IT? Stop and think about it for a minute...Your child brings you their cereal bowl after breakfast with only 2/3 of it eaten, so you eat it and drink the milk -100 calories. You decide to treat your 3 boys to lunch at McDonald’s and after you finish your double cheeseburger, small fries and coke off the $ menu, you finish 2 chicken nuggets from the oldest one, 1/4 of a hamburger from the middle child and 20 fries that your littlest didn’t eat. You’ve just eaten 2 meals from one of the most unhealthiest fast food places there is to eat! And then it’s dinnertime. That roast, carrots and potatoes just didn’t go over so well with your kids, so you finish just a little bit off of each plate. Afterwards your stuffed, but oh well! At least you didn’t waste any food, right? Now are you getting the picture?
So, how does one person get to be 10...20.....90 lbs. overweight? Just one extra bite at a time, that’s how! Think about it!

What's Your BMI?

When I first heard the words “morbidly obese” coming from my doctor’s mouth referring to me, I was speechless. I mean I’ve heard that term before and I’ve even watched those shows on TLC like The 600 lb Man and others like that, but I always thought of someone that was morbidly obese as being at least 300 lbs or more. And I certainly wasn’t anywhere near that. But then I found out how all of that is determined and it’s by calculating your BMI (body mass index). Calculating your BMI takes into account your height and your weight and it got me thinking….if I was shocked to find out that I fell into that category, how many other people have no idea where they fall. So I want you to do something. Not for me. But for you,. I want you to go to http://www.caloriecontrol.org/healthy-weight-tool-kit/body-mass-index-calculator and enter the numbers and find out your BMI and what category your in. I’m pretty sure that many of you will be surprised, maybe even shocked at your results as I was. And maybe it might inspire you to do something about it as it did for me before it’s too late. This is serious! This is our lives at stake. It not only effects us, but our husbands, our wives, our children, all those who love us. So please do this for yourself.
I had my first post-op appointment with the surgeon who performed my surgery yesterday. I was astounded to learn that I had lost 11.5 lbs. in the first week after surgery. I was even more happy and excited to find that I no longer fit into the morbidly obese category. I am now considered obese. Still not near where I want to be, but it’s the first step! What is your BMI?