The Pants

I have this pair of pants. They are my most favorite pair of pants that I own. There’s just one thing…I’ve only worn them twice. I got them on sale at Old Navy right before I found out that I was pregnant with our second son, Ezra over 3 years ago and I’ve never been able to fit back into them since. Until today. I was standing in front of my closet, trying to find something to wear to a Christmas party tonight when I saw them hanging there. For a split second the thought crossed my mind to try them on. Then I thought “Nah, it’s too soon. I can’t wear them yet." Then I got curious. I wondered how much longer it would be until I could wear them again, so I thought I’d just try them on and see. Can you imagine the exhilaration when they not only slid easily over my thighs, hips and belly, but then I zipped them up with no trouble at all! If I could have, I would have done a cartwheel at that moment. I nearly squealed in delight! As a matter of fact, I think I did. I called for my husband to come see, but he was changing a dirty diaper downstairs. I got too impatient for him to finish, so I nearly floated down the stairs to show him! My son, Judah said… "Oooh Mommy, I like those pants! Do girls wear pants like that too?" I laughed. They’re camouflage. He’s never seen me in them. All of the boys have a pair, but they’ve never seen mommy wear them before. I hugged him and said, “Yes baby, girls can wear these pants too! “ I sauntered back upstairs to take them off to get a shower and then I remembered something. I’ve been trying to mentally prepare myself for this party all week long. It’s an annual family/friends party that I look forward to each year. Except this year is very different. I’m still on an all liquid diet, so I couldn't eat any of the food that was served. I even made a pasta salad and brownies to bring, but I couldn't eat that either. I spoke with a friend this week who had gastric bypass surgery several years ago right before Christmas just like I did and she was telling me about the emotions that I might go through during this time, especially if I have parties to go to where there will be food. I prepared myself for maybe having to take a timeout in the bathroom to shed a few tears and maybe even cry on the way home. My plan was to make a point to talk to every single person in attendance at this party. I wanted to work my way around to everyone so I wouldn’t be focused so much on the food. But I had something to keep me smiling. Each time I was tempted to have a moment of regret for having the surgery at this particular time and each time I had just a twinge of sadness over not being able to eat, I looked down at my pants and smiled! Thank you Jesus for giving me something to smile about today!