I learned a very important lesson today and I thought I'd share it in hopes of helping someone else to remember what it truly means to be married...to be a help mate, a team, undivided, unified, always looking for the best in your spouse, not the worst, and always willing to pick up the slack....
As I've been losing weight over the last 9 months, I have cleared my closet and drawers of all clothes that no longer fit me. I've gotten rid of it all...at last count, over 25 bags of clothes to the Goodwill and to friends. That's a lot of clothes. I'm not sure how many items I've replaced, but suffice it to say that it's far less than what I've gotten rid of. Way less. Way way less. Last Saturday, I think my husband was so tired of hearing me complain yet again that I had nothing to wear when he generously suggested that I go buy a new outfit. Me, not being ignorant of my husband's cunning mind, knew that when he said "Honey, why don't you run to Marshall's and buy yourself something new" , he really meant " Honey, why don't you run to Marshall's and buy yourself something new, and don't forget to bring something back for me too. You know my size!" That's how it's always been. Whenever I've been out shopping and found something cute, I knew that my husband would not get upset as long as I brought him home a new shirt or pair of pants too! He loves clothes just as much as I do. And I love him for it!
Back to my story...I didn't have much success at Marshall's, but I did find one black jacket that will serve me well during the fall and winter months. THIS IS IMPORTANT...it was $16.99. I also found a new grey casual shirt for my husband. THIS IS IMPORTANT...it was $9.99. He was happy. I was happy. But wait, that's not the end of the story.
My husband has this annoying habit (which a lot of men do) of leaving things wherever they fall. You know, socks, underwear, pants, napkins, and PRICE TAGS FROM NEW CLOTHES! So, Saturday night after we got dressed in our new clothes and were heading out the door to church, I noticed a price tag laying on the bedroom floor. It was turned to the back so that you could only see the Marshall's logo. The front side which showed the price was facing the floor. I remember as we were rushing out the door, thinking to myself..."I sure hope he picks that up when we get home!"
That was Saturday.
Sunday...the tag was still on the floor.
I never said a word to him. I just thought to myself that I was not going to pick that tag off the floor no matter how long it stayed there. I was gonna teach my husband a lesson.
Or so I thought.
It's now Thursday, my cleaning day. My husband has the boys out with him for a few hours so I can have some peace and quiet and actually get something accomplished. I cleaned the downstairs in the first hour, then I went upstairs. The entire time I was cleaning our bedroom, I kept stepping over this price tag on the floor. "Stupid price tag," I said to myself. Finally it came time to vacuum the floor and I had to pick it up. Childishly, I thought to myself ..."I'll just pick it up long enough to vacuum, then I'm putting it right back on the floor until he picks it up." Silly me. When I did, I saw something that I'd been missing all week long. When I picked up the price tag and laid it down, I noticed the price....$16.99! It was MY price tag from MY jacket!!!!! Oh no!!!!!! How childish of me! All along, it was my trash to pick up, but I assumed the worst in my husband for almost an entire week! Wow! I've got some apologizing to do, don't' I? How flawed my thinking had been all along.
Now, I can't tell you how many times I've picked up after my husband when it actually was his trash, but I don't think it was an accident that God allowed this to happen this week. Really, how much time do I lose by picking up after my husband? A minute? Two? Is it really that important? Is it that big of a deal? Isn't that just one more way that I can show my love to him? By loving him and helping him, despite his flaws...just as he has done for me many many many times. Well, I sure have learned my lesson. How about you? Has God taught you something about marriage that you'd like to share? I'd love to hear it!