He's still workin' on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still workin' on me.

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart,
"Don't judge her yet, there's an unfinished part."
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hands.

He's still workin' on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still workin' on me.

In the mirror of His Word reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me.
He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the Potter, I'm the clay.

He's still workin'on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still workin' on me.

Monday, January 18, 2010

I Did It My Way

If one more person says something to me like…..”Oh, I wish I could have that surgery. I wish I didn’t have to do it the hard way” or “Oh my, this dieting and exercise thing is so hard, you got it easy” I think I might just slap them. Well, maybe not but I’d want to. All in love of course. So I got to thinking. Maybe people just don’t know. Maybe they have no idea what is involved in having the lap band surgery and all of the drastic changes you must make afterwards. So I think I’ll just tell you. First of all, I had MAJOR surgery. I could have died. It’s a huge risk. Just that in itself is enough, but there’s more. I endured a full liquid diet for 14 days after surgery. Then for another 14 days, I could only eat soft foods…mashed potatoes, egg salad, sugar free pudding, sugar free jello, sugar free Popsicles, protein shakes and that’s about it. Now that I’m able to eat “regular” foods (there are still way too many restrictions) I only eat 1 ½ cups of food per day. Breakfast, lunch and dinner consist of ½ cup of “real” food. I may never be able to tolerate breads, pastas, red meat, and sweets. Some people can, some can’t. You never know which category of people your going to fall in. I can only drink 1 oz of water at a time. No gulping. Just sipping. I need to stop drinking all liquids 20 minutes before I eat anything and after I’m finished eating, I can’t drink anything for 1 hour. So in order to get the required minimum of fluids that I need in a day, I have to carry a water bottle with me at all times. You don’t realize how difficult that is until you try it. I’m used to waking up in the morning and gulping down a glass of water and drinking with my meals. Major change! I’m supposed to take between 15-20 minutes to eat my little ½ cup of food. You may or may not realize the magnitude of how impossibly difficult that is either. Well, unless you have 3 active little boys and are used to shoveling food in as quickly as you can before any of them try to wiggle out of their high chair or climb out of their booster seat, spilling an entire bowl of untouched spaghetti. Then and only then can you know how hard that is to do. I may never be able to tolerate pizza again. I could go on, but I won’t bore you.
And let me tell you another thing. I’ve worked hard for every single pound of the 29 pounds that I’ve lost. I work my butt off, literally at the gym. I work just as hard as those other skinny girls beside of me on the elliptical. I do just as many reps as anyone else on the inner and outer thigh machine, chest press machine, working my triceps and biceps. I do just as many sit ups as the next person.
Then there’s this constant fear. The fear of failure. Every time I talk with someone, they always seem to know of a friend or a relative or a friend of a friend who had the same surgery and it didn’t work for them or they want to tell you about how they lost all this weight and then gained it back. Yeah, not really what I want or need to hear, ya think?
I guess the point I’m trying to make is this. The band around my stomach is just a tool. Whether you want to admit it or not, we all need some kind of tool to lose weight, get healthier, etc. Your tool of choice might be an appetite suppressant pill, or an energy drink, or Weight Watchers, or whatever else is out there on the market. But you gotta know how to use your tool. And the lap band is no different. You have to work your tool. If I wanted to, I could cheat even with the band. I could still overeat. I can’t eat a lot in one sitting, but I could eat now, come back an hour later, eat again, and so on and so on. But I would only be hurting myself. Even with the band, you are required to exercise self restraint. And it takes work! So please, the next time you talk with someone who’s had some kind of weight loss surgery, don’t belittle their choice or their hard work by making a stupid comment. Think before you speak. And know that we’re all in this thing together. We all struggle with something. And most importantly, like your mother taught you…..If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all!
That’s my story and I’m stickin to it!!!


Anonymous said...

Very well said. My 27 year old niece had Gastric bypass surgery almost 5 years ago. She lost 120 pounds over the course of a year and a half.

She finished school, married, taught 8th grade math, and now has 2 adorable boys. She is expecting her third in June. She gained 20 pounds with the first, lost it, and gained 60 with the second. Lost that too. And each time losing it wasn't any easier.

Like you she has had to rethink, and retrain herself and the way she eats. I honestly thought it was a better way to eat. We Americans eat way too fast, and our portion sizes are way out of control.

Though my eating every 2-3 hrs. with Anemia in no way compares to what you and my niece go through, I do understand a bit.

In the beginning, eating an apple was exhausting. Eating is a strict schedule for me. I have pills and vitamins I have to take. This one with food, this one before meals, etc. etc. It starts at 6 am and ends at 10pm. Some days I am so sick of taking pills, but know(experience talking here) I will feel too tired to move in the days ahead if I skip them.

I am much better then I was 3 months ago, but think I have another month or two before I'm my old self again. I don't look sick, so many friends and family don't understand why I have nearly fallen off the face of the earth. But you know, my door is always open. Only my son and one friend have been by in the last 3 months.

It's not easy, but try to remember we humans are just simply rude and dumb at times. Some very well meaning people often put their foot into their mouths, myself included.

Pat yourself on the back daily, and be proud of the 29 pounds lost. It wasn't easy.

My hubby has a stone I gave him with the words, "There is no failure only Divine redirection".

Honestly, you may put on some weight at some point. Try not to beat yourself up for it. As Scarlet O'Hara said, "tomorrow is another day".

Continue to do it your way. It's your body, your weight loss, your cause for celebration!!!!

Congrats on losing 29 pounds your way!!!


tamerakitten said...

Andrea- amen sister, amen. There is no "silver bullet", "magic pill" or pixie dust we can sprinkle on ourselves that will make the blubber go "poof". It talkes hardf waotk, no matter HOW you do it. Hard work and a commitment to make the changes in our lives necessary.
and some days it just SUCKS.
BTW-- that dress you were sportin' sunday at church is lookin a bit baggy on you!!! And that's a GOOD thing!!!
Keep it up and thanks so much for sharing- you encourage me to keep on the straight and narrow.

Diane said...

Reading your writings is so refreshing~so encouraging. Keep up your: works of righteousness, weight lost, writings and being wonderful YOU!


Kirsty said...

You are an inspiration. Keep going! I can't wait to keep up with your progress!