Today I cried

Today I cried for the first time since my surgery 5 days ago. Actually I’m quite surprised that it took this long considering my tendency to shed a tear at the drop of a hat. I cry when I’m happy, sad, angry, irritated. You name it. I’m an emotional person by nature. That’s just the way God made me. Anyhow, it’s been 6 days since I’ve had anything solid to eat, and well....I'M HUNGRY! The doctor doesn't do the first adjustment on my band until 6 weeks post surgery so for now my stomach is basically the same size it was before surgery. The strained fat free cream soups and sugar free jello just aren’t cutting it anymore. I was attempting to sit down to enjoy my ½ cup of watery fat free cream of potato soup while the rest of my family ate their normal lunches that I used to be able to eat. I was on my third phone call of the day, trying to get some appointments scheduled and get some things accomplished. You know... multitasking. Things moms manage to do every day. The boys were interrupting me and I couldn’t concentrate. I was getting irritated. I’m not sleeping well, I can’t seem to get comfortable no matter what I try and I’m sensing just the slightest bit of agitation coming from my husband. The sympathy is finally wearing off and he’s getting tired too. It just hit me like a ton of bricks and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to leave the room. I went upstairs, slammed my bedroom door like a hormonal teenager and the river started flowing. It felt good to get it out. It was like poison coming out of me, the frustration and feelings of sadness of what I’ve given up to gain a better me. And then the coughing started. Oh great! I’m quite familiar with what coughing can do to someone whose just had abdominal surgery being that I’ve had 2 c-sections. Oh the pain! I tried to just let out little coughs, but noooooo they were coming out like hacking, coughing up a lung kind of coughs. I grabbed my little 4 ounce cup of water that I was allowed to have by my bedside to take a drink and finally it subsided. I collapsed onto my pillow, exhausted. And then it came over me. Peace. The knowledge that everything is going to be alright. Just in the nick of time Papa came through! I slept for 2 solid hours, not tossing and turning once. And now as I’m writing this, it’s 10:00 at night and I’ve made it through one more day!